Long Time, No See :3

Hello there guys! I know it's been a significant amount of time, but I thought I'd drop in and say hello. Allow me to begin by organizing what is going to certainly be a long post with a list of topics:

• ...staying up late...
• Rue and I - super quick
  
• RPA
• Ashira's Store
• Ashira's Notebook
• Tumblr
• Artwork
• Tae-Kwon-Do
• College [Japanese!]
• My Internet Usage From Now On
• Random end :3
  

Ok because I clearly have a lot to talk about, I'm going to color code everything. The Title new topic will be the color labeled above. If you would like to skip whatever, or only read one thing, etc. you can jump around as much as you like via the color coding :3 Also, for people who like it short, sweet, and to the point, I've bolded and italics the key points. Hope this helps, thanks for the time, and especially thank you for reading :D

...Staying Up Late...

Ok, so I have been staying up super late pretty much every night. The earliest I go to bed is around midnight, but closer to 1, and the latest [the most common times] I go to bed are anywhere in between 3 and 4:30 in the morning. I wake up around noon usually, but sometimes I'll even get up around 1 or 2 in the afternoon. The way my parents put it is "It's like you're in a different time zone."

My dad wants it to stop, says it's unhealthy, and though I understand this, I would really like to get back to my good sleep schedule of staying up 'til 2, sleeping 8 hours, and waking up at 10. It's perfect because I sleep in a bit, I get my night shit in, and I'm up most of the day.

Then why am I bringing it up? Well I did want to ask - what do you suggest for waking me up at 10? 10 is the latest I ever really want to sleep 'til every day. I don't particularly like getting up at noon. If I lived by myself and went to night school/had a night job then I'd be fine with it because I'm sure those I'd live with would either be on the same schedule, or I would be living alone. But because I'm depending on my parents to help me get some driving hours in, and to drive me around in the meantime, then I seriously need help.

Also, I've noticed that I've been sleeping a lot because I have nothing else to do. My parents are trying to fix this by getting me into Tae-Kwon-Do [see different section], but even with that, until college starts up I'm probably not going to be doing much of anything. So for these next few months (A) Give me something to do [cough like buying my art cough cough] and (B) tell me how to sleep better.

Rue and I

I'm gonna keep this as quick as possible.

Rue and I are no longer together for many complicated reasons that I'll make a lot clearer in future posts, I won't do it flat out though [if you can't put the two and two together when I do, then I apologize but you just won't ever know]. I just figure it's simple enough for people to understand when it comes out. In the meantime, friends and family subscribe to this YouTube channel [it's my second channel], and you'll understand when the time comes if you don't already.

RPA

I have been really kicking it up a notch with my role playing! RPA is seriously such a great place for it too. I've already become a part of 9 RP's and I'm planning on making one of my own really soon here :3 My only concern is that I might be getting in a little over my head, that I might not be able to keep up with RPA at all once I start college. I wanted to fore-warn anyone who RP's with me on RPA that I'm not sure what's all going down when college starts, so I wanted them to enjoy the time they had with me.

Furthermore, I also wanted to mention that since I do have time right now, that if you're a member of RPA, that you get a special discount on commissions all the way up until August 1st, 2012. For my fellow RPA-goers, I wanted to offer this discount to you at the small expense of a moment of your time. For more information, visit the Sales Info, etc. page on Ashira's Store and scroll down to "Members of RPA..." now!

EXTRA NOTE: This may end extremely soon [like this next week soon] because I've just asked the admins some specific questions in reference to this discount. I respect the admins choice, and if the admins tell me no, then no I won't be offering this discount anymore. You can still get it until it disappears from the Sales Info, etc. page on Ashira's Store however, so hurry and purchase your art.

Ashira's Store

Ashira's Store has been getting next to nobody going to it, which is a pity because I'm selling commissions! But since that's not quite going so well, I did want to make note that I'm going to make pieces especially for selling, and I want any suggestions you all might have to give! Please and thank you :3

You can see Ashira's Store now here: http://www.ashirasstore.webs.com/

Ashira's Notebook

It's still under construction... I just wanted to make sure everyone knew it IS getting worked on, just very slowly. I apologize for any inconveniences this might have on you all.

Still, you can see it here: http://www.ashirasnotebook.webs.com/

Tumblr

Honestly just wanted to make sure you all knew I had one: http://www.ashirashome.tumblr.com/

Artwork

I'll have to come back to this blog for this at a later time, I'm sorry :(

Tae-Kwon-Do

I'll have to come back to this blog for this at a later time, I'm sorry :(

College [Japanese!]

I'll have to come back to this blog for this at a later time, I'm sorry :(

My Internet Usage From Now On

I'll have to come back to this blog for this at a later time, I'm sorry :(

Random Ending :3

CHICKEN PIG

...and the most beautiful music you'll ever hear...

Ok now that that's out of the way, I wanted to give a shout out to my best friend, Helix, who is a fellow artist :3 They've made something absolutely beautiful that I think you might want to see on their YT channel now! Click here to watch Helix Draws 1: Chibi Dragon and click here to be directed straight to Helix's YT channel AND click here to be directed to Helix's blog NAOW!

Goodbye Internet!

If you're not interested in reading the long version, please skip to the parts that are bold and red. Thank you.

Lately, I've been changing as a person, and I have done a lot about this. I've drastically changed my hairstyle and wardrobe. Also, I began questioning who I am and why I'm doing what I'm doing to reflect that. I've had various discussions with my dad that have both helped us get closer, as well as provide well needed guidance and insight on my life. I have begun to be more honest and open with my family (especially my dad) in my late teenage years, and therefore I've begun to be more honest and open with myself in hopes that I can find more about who I am as I begin living my life as an adult.

One discussion that's come up lately has been how easily persuaded my age group can be, and I'm not denying the truth in that - I'm fairly easily persuaded. I do have my own opinions and ideals that I won't change for anyone (easily, at least), but for the most part if my parents and friends want something for me, I'm very easily swayed in their favor. Because this persuasion branches out to media and acquaintances, I have decided that I'm going to distance myself from the internet for a good while. This is so that I can start to form my own individual ideas and values, and see how much of an impact the internet really has on me by diminishing it. By "a good while" I specifically mean somewhere between a few months and the end of this year. I'm leaning toward a year, but who knows? I've been so immersed in the internet that I may well feel the need to come back sooner.

What made me come to this decision was thinking about how many things I've done and continue to do for other people, as well as my past of putting myself last and others first. Though in some situations that is appropriate, it happening as often as it does needs to come to an end. An easy way to end this is through getting away from the social media such as facebook, youtube, my two blogs (here and on tumblr), and other similar websites. Though I won't be leaving the internet completely (I still need to study for my GED), I don't plan to be on nearly as much as I usually am, if at all.

To know the amount of time I'll be spending on the internet in the near future, I'll be studying for my GED for a little while longer, I'll do an occasional Google search, I will keep up with Ashira's Notebook and Ashira's Store [see details below] and other business-related things, and I will also check my e-mail every so often (once or twice a month, at my most frequent), but this is it. I will also be keeping up with RPA, and my reasons are laid out on the About Me section on RPA specifically for anyone interested in knowing or for my fellow RPA users. As far as IM goes, however, I'm not at all sure if I'll be keeping up with it. I'll specifically communicate my plans to my IM buddies via IM or e-mail once I'm sure.

The things I'm saying goodbye to for now are Facebook, YouTube, Tumblr, GaiaOnline, deviantART [mostly], FurAffinity [mostly], Writer's Cafe, etc. These places are consuming my life and taking away the time I could be spending on studying, working out, creating art, writing my books, college work, family and friends... the list goes on and on. Honestly, I'm so dependent on the internet that if I were to just take this action on my own without any say, it would probably concern a great number of people. Think about it - if I had just up and left, you'd be questioning my absence by the second month at longest, I'd bet.

As my general rule [aside from RPA and some e-mails], I'm really only staying on the internet for professional reasons. In other words, I AM keeping up with Ashira's Notebook and Ashira's Store for the duration of my leave. For more information about how much time I'll be spending on Ashira's Notebook and Ashira's Store [as well as what I mean by the "mostly" parts on DA and FA], click here.

I'm also considering taking more time off, depending on how well this goes for me. I'll let you know what's happening by the end of the year if this happens, though. In the meantime, however, I'm not cutting communication from anyone through this. My friends and family can always communicate with me through phone, preferably call but texting is ok too, and I will check my e-mail every so often as well. If you don't have my number, don't be shy to shoot me an e-mail [if you've never e-mailed me before, please provide your full name so I know that you're someone I know in person] and I'll more likely than not message you my number back or text you so you have my number.

My last log in to facebook was officially April 2nd, 2012. If you are my friend there, and I start making posts, liking things, etc. without first making an official note [which I promise I'll do] saying I've come back and why, then please e-mail me stating that you think I've been hacked. From there I'll take care of the situation...or, the less likely outcome, I'll tell you it was just me screwing around.

Please understand that I'm doing this to better myself, and not so I can avoid contact with you or anyone else. Thank you for your time.

Big News :D

So some of you might know this already, cuz I haven't exactly kept it that secret, but I figured since not everyone knows [and when I told everyone I was still wavering between staying and going], I thought I'd just give you all the big news :D

I am dropping out of my high school, getting my GED in these next couple months [at longest, I'm even considering just going in in a couple of weeks], and starting college at Front Range this summer or fall. So yup. It's official everyone! Today my dad is talking to the school about me taking my leave, I'll be dropping off my books and such soon here, and I'll be starting college early :3 But don't get me wrong, that's not all I'm doing. Goodness, no, too much free time haha

Here's a list of all that my leaving high school entails:

Let's start here: I'm going to be working on self-discipline, and to do that I've gotta build good study habits. It's why I'm not going in to take my GED test as soon as I can. I'm going to be dedicating a few hours a day to studying, which is a new concept for me since I've never spent more than 15 minutes just studying [outside of homework]. This should be really good for me, and will help me excel on the GED when I do take it.

I'll be getting my physical education in there quite a bit more. I'll be going to a gym much more frequently, so if there's any friends of mine that wanna work out with me every so often, then hang out after or just go get a bite to eat, then I'm happy to oblige! I know it's a big motivator to have a friend to talk to who's working as hard as I am, so please, if you're a friend of mine, then let me know if and when you'd like to work out with me :3 Maybe we can work out a weekly schedule together and you can get some work out time in too!

I'll be getting a job or two very soon here. I wish that my art was hitting it off and making me some serious money, but I've gotta be realistic here - it's not making me anything. So what I'm gonna be doing is working for my dad at his law firm when he gets his office around May time. Depending on how that much makes me and how much else I'm doing in my day [after I start school] I may or may not get a second job as well, though that's still debatable and won't be happening right away. Regardless, I'm still going to be selling my art on my online webstore, Ashira's Store, and checking my e-mail [and facebook for my friends on there] for requests for commissions. My last thing to say on that subject is I will no longer be giving out free artwork. From this point forward, I will no longer be giving out artwork without some sort of payment. I can't afford to be working hard on gift art just because you don't have the money the moment you want some art, or you're not sure you wanna pay me for my efforts. I will no longer do any free work for anyone but myself because of these sorts of things. Thank you for understanding!

I'm going to be getting my licence and a car in about a month here. Kay Kay, who has been driving me everywhere, can now breathe a sigh of relief - you no longer have to be my ride everywhere! And, by the way: I'm sorry if I've been taking advantage of that any. I promise to make it up to you one way or another. Moving on though: I'm going to try to avoid doing too much with this car. My parents will be paying for the insurance, etc. so I don't want to damage the car any [not that I planned to or would wanna do that with my car either lolz], nor do I want to even treat it as my car as of yet. My parents are paying for it, and I'm going to respect that by keeping it clean and nicely kept. So I'm going to appreciate this car as much as I can, and I'm going to use it mostly for driving to and from school and work. My point with this: Nobody else can drive this car but me. It's not my car, but being trusted to me, so to those friends [oh you know who you are big brother ;3] who wanted to give my car a test run...I'm sorry to say you won't be able to quite yet. Love you though!

Alright, so far that's really all I've got going on. I'm sorry if that was long, but I just wanted to make sure I told everyone everything that was going on. If you have any questions about this [or commissions! :D], message me on facebook or e-mail me at blackstainedsorrow@yahoo.com and a big thanks to all my supportive friends who have been there for me since day one. Love you all so very much!

"Typing in Riddles" Since "Speaking" is too Difficult for this Kind of Drama

I wanted to make a public apology about what this blog post used to contain. It's been deleted for a reason, and it was posted immaturely. I am sorry that my immaturity caused you [the one the post was directed at] the issues that it did; that was not my intention, but I'm not trying to make excuses. What I did was wrong, over the top, and you don't deserve that.

I wish to not further discuss this with anyone with the exception of the people that are involved. So if you happen to understand what used to be stated in this post, please do not mention it to either of the people involved; you will be ignored. Thank you for understanding.

Tumblr

I recently made a Tumblr! http://ashirashome.tumblr.com/

So far I kinda like it. As of yet, I'm not sure if it'll replace this blogging location or not, but I think I'm going to use both. I just gotta figure out what goes here and what goes there lolz

But yeah, follow meeeee :D

Regret or early Senioritis?

I've always told myself that regret does nothing more than hold me back in life, and ever since I learned that I've held to it. I still do have a problem, however, and I'm not sure if it's regret that I'm feeling about it, or if it's something else related to teenage anxiety or something or another.

What I feel is that I was born too late, that I missed a year of life that I could have gotten by just being born just a few mere months earlier than I was. Usually when given the genie scenario I say "making a wish with a genie is like making a deal with the devil - it's bound to go wrong." However if I was given the opportunity to make a wish, I'd wish that I was born early enough to be in my senior year right now without it upsetting the balance and outcome of my life at this very moment. Specifically, I wish that I could have been born around the time my cousin James was born, the time where I would be in my senior year right now, and yet even through the change of my age, it wouldn't upset my happiness, my family, my maturity, my relationship, nor my friends...but it wouldn't change their ages either. It's a lot to ask for, really, but because I'm not haggling with a genie right now I'm going to make my wish as specific as I want to. If I have to dumb it down for your sake, however, I would just wish that I felt like I was the right age.

Personally, if I were to put an age on myself [based on my personal beliefs as well as outside perspectives], I would honestly put myself at 18. I don't feel at all like I'm the same maturity level of 99.9% of the Junior population in the Adams County school district [cuz it's really all I know in the masses], but I know I'm not knowledgeable or experienced enough, despite my maturity, to be older than a very early adult. I know very, VERY few people my age or younger who I think are my level of maturity or beyond, and I am setting my standards for maturity low. They're too complex to go into right now, but I can assure you that by asking for a mature person I'm not asking for much.

For some reason, I wanted to end this post with "I realize regret isn't worth the trouble and will do nothing more than hold me back, yet I will always have one regret: Being born too late." Thing is, that's not how I feel. I'm happy where I am in my life and what the near future is bringing for me, I just want my near future to be what I wake up tomorrow and get to work on. I'm anxious to get started with my life, and I feel like I'm being left behind by the ones I care most for. I'm getting some great advice from them all, I'm appreciative of the ability to gain the knowledge without going through the tough experiences, but I'm unable to put it into practice and I hate that so much. My life seems to be backed up while all of my friends are getting a head start on important life goals. It almost makes me wish I'd tried harder to graduate early...almost.

I don't exactly know what I'm trying to say besides my feelings, and when it comes down to the point all I have to say is I want to speed up time and be at the end of this miserable school year already. I want to get started on my summer job so I can save money to see Ses and get a fursuit, I want to be talking apartments more seriously with Kay Kay and Rue, and I want my driver's license so I can stop feeling like I'm treating my friends like my chauffeurs. That's all I want, and I can wait for the rest. I won't ask to graduate high school now, or to already be living with Kay Kay and Rue. I'll wait for the really important stuff. Until then, though, I just want for the next few months to feel like they're serving a purpose beyond teaching me patience. I just want to feel like I'm not waiting for more waiting.

I just want to get started with my life already. That's all I want.

New Years Resolutions

New Years Resolutions!

1. Draw a new picture once a week [at least]! This means I want to finish with at least 52 more drawings by next New Years!
2. Write/Finish a book. I want to end the year with a book completed. I don't expect it to be my masterpiece, I just expect it to start me off in the world of writing, and it's about time I get my ass in gear and finish what I started [or start something new and actually get it done this time]!
3. Make a video a month and post it online. I have just been slacking so much in the video-making department! So it's time to get my ass in gear [yet again!] and start being worth the subscription, get some consistency going.
   
4. Get noticed! :D This would just be plain awesome. I'm not trying to narrow it down though, I just want to get noticed...and this could mean anything from self-publish a book and actually sell some copies, get a poem or something published in a magazine, get more viewers on my website who comment and actually seem to pay attention to my random ass rants and such, or even just getting a significant amount of new subscribers on YT! I don't know nor care, as long as I feel that I'm getting better known.
   
5. Start eating healthier. I've been eating too much candy and sweets lately and I think it's really starting to affect my body. I wanna stop eating SO much candy and sweets to start eating healthy. If you saw my last post, one step I'm taking towards this is ONLY eating candy when I meet specific writing goals [which will be available to see on the calender of Ashira's Notebook once I'm done constructing the site again]
6. Get C's or higher in every class. I have a couple D's that I want to raise to at least C's by the end of the school year. And my C's I want to be B's, and my B's I want to be A's. If I can't get an A, however, I want the lowest of a C. I won't settle for less!
7. Make MONEY!!! I want to make $500+ to put towards savings. This means get a job, sell a bunch of crap - WHATEVER - as long as I get the cash...legally.
8. Move Out. I am REALLY hoping that between October and December I'll be moving out into an apartment, more likely than not with my mate Rue and/or my sister Kay Kay, but if this isn't accomplished this year then I'm ok because it'll just be postponed a few months, I'm sure. If not, then it'll be with good reason ^-^ Hoping it doesn't though cuz bejeebus...I need my own space man!
9. See Sesaya :3 My plan is to see Ses for Christmas this year [it's partly why I wanna save so much money] because God I love that woman, and I'Z NEEDZ TO SEEZ HER!!! If I don't...I will die a little inside. I really will.
10. Have an over all good year! I'm not gonna lie, I had a shitty 2011...Hell, I had a shitty 2010, and an even shitter 2009! I don't wanna just have another shitty year. I want to look back on this year and go "Hey, I was in high school. That alone makes that year suck ass...but at least I did the best I could!"

Help me motivate myself by subscribing to my YouTube Channel, following my blog [here], becoming a member of my website, or becoming a follower on my deviantART. Feel free to financially support me through donations via PayPal [blackstainedsorrow@yahoo.com] or by buying art on my MySoti page [95% of donated funds will go towards seeing Ses :3...the other 5% is gonna go toward (for some reason crazy expensive) food at the airport/gas money depending on how I get there lolz]

RANDOM END NOTE: My old drama director is offering classes. If you live in the Denver Area, know that he is an AMAZING teacher and you won't be disappointed. Get in while there's still room! http://denveralternative.weebly.com/classes.html