If you're reading this only for the school related information, skip down to the italic dark red paragraph.
It's funny how now that I've started school and got more work on my shoulders, that I've suddenly also been handed more time to just sit and think. This time to think that I get does make sense though... it's when I'm expected to be sleeping, but due to my almost insomniac ways, I just sit there for hours, awake, doing nothing but thinking. I both find this time nice and calming, as well as brutal and depressing.
Just to get it out of the way, the depressing thoughts that come to my head are the negative things that have happened in my life, and though I do come up with the answer "well if that didn't happen, I wouldn't have learned this," but nonetheless just lying there in a helpless state and just being vulnerable to the oncoming wave of depression I thought I'd pushed back is a little terrifying...it's why I stay up at night, usually: so I don't dream of these things and relive them again and again.
But some positive things come across...I have to keep my sanity sometimes, right? It's usually just simple things that happen when I'm having a particularly hard time with the negative thoughts and I'm just trying to divert my mind from where it wanders otherwise. These things include my website, school and my new schedule, family, Rue, and how to make my future bright. And just while you're reading now [whether or not you continue], I also have a few things in blue at the bottom that I'd really appriciate if you turned your attention to, thanks.
Something I've noticed with my website is how much my own personal workings into it have changed... I'm less focused on making it nice and updating it, and more focused on getting people to come to it. This does significantly change my involvement...I don't update everything anymore, I just post writings and art as I do them to their designated pages, occationally post to the news page and bam! done for the week, or whatever. With people, eh, it's much harder. See, I have a problem: I don't know how to get people more interested in it [which btw if you have feedback PLEASE share with me - I'd be uber happy to hear it at ashiracartel@yahoo.com or you can comment below]. I've posted Ashira's Notebook links everywhere, and I've personally asked people to look at it and perhaps join, but nobody ever cares enough to. Some will join out of politeness, but most of the members don't keep up with anything... it makes me sad. I know my family looks at it every so often, but most of the time it's just to brag to friends about "Oh, my cousin made a website," or to show their friend my art, in which their friend goes "cool" and never looks at it again. I know 2 people who keep up with what I do, and anyone else who does only does so because I tell them when I've updated and ask them to check it out. I've looked at the numbers of visitors and yes, it's rising ever so slowly [which makes me happy - don't get me wrong], but I just wish Ashira's Notebook and Ashira's Forum could have more constant visitors and members, and through them we could actually start forming that community of artists of all kinds that I've been looking for. The things I've looked at to get people to visit is (A) Advertising, of course, and (B) Business cards specially. With business cards, my biggest issue is just being broke... once I get some cash in my pocket I'll probably jump right on getting business cards and that'll be the only advertising before I make the physical changes to AN. Speaking of which, the only physical changes I really want to make is to make art for the website like banners and backgrounds for each individual page [though I don't want to personally make them, I want members of Ashira's Community to do it, so that's hard without advertising]. I also would love to purchase a URL of my own [in other words, a link without the whole .webs thing in it]...though that might have to wait until after I have a job and maybe some generous members to help me afford it as well, heh. Last change I'd want to make is a mission statement for AN, which I'm working to get done even before getting business cards...it's just that important. That and a logo, and other simple things like that. As far as goal making goes, I'm hoping to make all this happen before I get to college.
Moving on... School. Just because I want to make sure everyone is aware, for school I am unable to talk during the week usually. I may reply to a text or e-mail here and there, and I rarely will pop in on IM, but overall I won't check anything because I want to focus on my schoolwork. What this means for you is just a few simple things:
A) Patience. I am begging you, and I mean you as in everyone - not just friends - including just general Ashira's Notebook people in an attempt to contact me via e-mail, to simply have patience with me and wait for me to get the time to respond to you. I already have a lot going on in my head to the point where without the world's supply of sticky notes, I'd forget everything and go completely mad... I can't just hit a pause button and get to you as soon as you need me. Sorry guys, I don't have a Click remote.
B) Understanding. Very simple one - please understand that when I take a couple weeks to reply to an e-mail, or I say no to a request such as a complicated commission/I take a really long time to complete your commission...stuff like that. Please be respectful, realize that I have a busy life of my own, and know that it is noticed and honestly, greatly appriciated.
and C) Help. I could especially use help. I don't mean this as a cry for help like "help me! I'm dying!" No, I mean this as a "I could really use some more website staff members/AN community members/etc." It says on the website that Emmah DaVinci is another staff member but in all honesty she is never on, and leads a busy life of her own that, unfortunately, may result in finding a new artist for Itami. In other words, I'm running the website on my own, and it's getting to a point that not too long from now will cause it to become near impossible to run by myself. Please e-mail me at ashiracartel@yahoo.com if you are interested in helping me and by becoming a staff member; you are needed!
Besides those three simple things, all you need to know is communication is usually open on weekends if I'm not busy with other people because communication is rare on weekdays. I'll be updating the calander on AN so that you can see what breaks I'll have in the school year, and what times may become really hectic to the point where even on weekends it's hard for me.
Ok, I'm done with my cries for help now. My last things with family...eh, mostly just me thinking about how much I wanna move out and how to make that possible lolz With Rue, it's a lot of personal things that overall just are enjoying his company now, missing him later, and how to keep our relationship from falling apart through the distance. Then I only have how to make my future bright which I'm doing by thinking of how I want to spend the rest of my life, thinking about college, studying now and getting my grades up [and keeping them there! That's key!], and other things. I lot of it dumbs down to I want to up my skills and learn more, which dumbs down to practice makes perfect haha and if I had time to practice, I'd be happy to...but I don't sooo....poopy.
The last things I want to share with you are important to me and if anything, I want you to take this information and make it count:
AMY: Please read this news on AN concerning my commission openness and a dying out wolfdog rehabilitaion. If you'd like to help someone in need, who is an absolutely amazing, hard working person who deserves the support and more, then please read this now! Heck, help out and you get art out of the deal. Thank you!
SESAYA: My sister/best friend and mentor, Sesaya, is an absolutely wonderful artist who has been working on some fabulous artwork that she has been hoping to sell. Check out her furaffinity page and her commission price sheet to check out her artwork, and get more artwork-for-sale information. Thank you!
Ending Links:
My website: http://www.ashirasnotebook.webs.com/
My deviantART: http://ashiracartel.deviantart.com/
End Note:
When I next find the time, I'll be making a post on here about artwork and how I feel about it, and my book commentary thingy [yes, this is more here to remind me but hey! Now you know too! :D lolz]
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