Welcome!

Hello. I'm Ashira, Ashira Saide Cartel. You may know me from my other websites - Ashira's Notebook and Ashira's Store - but this is a totally different place [obviously].

I get bored with my life and have many plans. I try to keep people updated as best as I can, but that's kinda hard. I like ranting, I'll admit that, and sometimes talking about my website just doesn't happen. I don't like a diary because it either just gets really personal and I don't know what to do with it, or more likely than not I wanna share it with too many people and it's not that personal anymore.

As a solution, I first thought I'd try working on an Autobiography...sorta...but there was a lot in it that I just didn't like and didn't want to mention. There was also the fact that most of the book wasn't something I was up to selling, and overall it was just too much work that I wasn't willing to do. So I eventually ended up just quitting it...but I still thought, "What should I do...?" I didn't want to use my time making a whole 'nother website all for the purpose of randomly ranting, so after watching a video on YouTube from user MasakoX, I figured "Eh...alright, I'll give it a go" and here I am...on blogger. I'm also on tumblr if you're more into the short, random crap that's on my mind. I used to put this stuff under my main blog posts as Random Song of the Moment, Random Artwork of the Moment, etc.

I do wanna note a few things to any random visitors, however... first of all, this place is quite different than Ashira's Notebook. I don't censor myself quite so much [therefore I curse/swear, I talk about touchy subjects, etc.]. Secondly, I tend to talk about completely unrelated things from artwork. The things I discuss here usually are just general updates geared towards friends and family interested in what I'm doing with my life, as well as fans looking for a more personal side of the artist behind the artwork.

If you're hoping to get an inside scoop on my current projects, I will occasionally put things about them, but usually I'll write about random crap. In that case, I suggest you look at the News section on Ashira's Notebook more often and maybe checking out the Forums. If you're looking for examples of my written work, again I share some things on here, but the majority of my work is on my Writer's Cafe.

All that in mind, I hope enjoy your stay at Ashira's Home.
~Ashira

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Cheeze and Rice...

Oh wow, it's been quite some time for me and my blog...I've gotta learn to actually work on this thing O.o


So let's see...where to begin...? Well, maybe I'll start here: YouTube. I'm actually in the middle of an upload week right now that ends on Saturday. Here's the informational video about it, and if you wanna see the rest of the videos they're up on my YouTube channel.


If you're looking for project updates, I don't really have any that I'm up to repeating, so look on my YT channel and my websites...which, by the way I now have 2 versions. Ashira's Notebook1.0 is with my old host, weebly, and is no longer receiving any updates. I have no plans to delete it at the moment, but in the future that could change so enjoy it while it's up guys. Then I have Ashira's Notebook2.0 which I like a LOT more for plenty of reason that you can see on the homepage there. It gets updated...I don't wanna say often cuz I have random disappearances, but it gets updated lolz


So now for the crazy part...mah life. My life has been going pretty much insane right now. I've found a college I want to go to [CU-Boulder] and have been working my ASS off in school in order to make that happen. I've also gone through a weird phase in my love-life that I'll give you the general info behind, but please don't press me for details kay? 'kay. :3


So I was with my boyfriend, Andrew, and after he left for college we were together for a few months. Over those few last months, I considered leaving him because I honestly felt like I was holding him back. He called me with every moment of his free time even when I told him to take some time for himself and to rest, and ended up becoming so stressed that he got sick a few times due to, as said, stress as well as lack of sleep, family problems, etc. Feeling like I was one of those problems as well as a few other personal things, I ended up breaking up with him, thinking it'd be better for the both of us. Funny thing is, a friend of mine that I had a crush on before I got with Andrew had left his girlfriend at almost the time. So we gave us a shot, and 2 weeks later ended. I still liked him a lot though, thought I'd fallen for him, but all the while in the back of my mind was Andrew. At first, my thought was "maybe I'm just not meant for these kinda relationships..." and was tempted to switch all those profile sexuality areas from "bisexual" to "lesbian" if you know what I'm sayin'... So anyway... I went through a lot of shit with my friend [that's just what I'ma call my now ex] but in the end a good talk with V got me to learn how to stop being so depressed over it, and another talk Emmah helped me discover how I truly felt. I asked her what I should do, wait for my friend or give up on him and go back to Andrew? She helped me realize that what I thought was love for for my friend was really just temporary infatuation, and part of learning what love is is learning what it's not. She told me that based on what I was telling her, how I acted before and after Andrew and I broke up, and what she'd learned about love with her boyfriend and the crazy shit they'd been through, that I was never in love with my friend, and that I truly loved Andrew. When she had laid it out so plainly for me I couldn't argue... "Yeah Emmah...yeah, you're right..." I told her and gave her a bunch of thank you's and other stuffz X3 After a while of talking it over and figuring out what was best for us, Andrew and I ended up getting back together. I'm so happy, and even better he's happy too. I can't say I wish I'd never made the choices I made because without them, Andrew and I wouldn't be as close as we are, and not only that but I'd probably never had been able to better learn what love really is. I love that boy though... I really do.


And then besides that chaos, I've had a lot of stress with college. I'm working on my grades SO HARD, like I'm dying, I swear [maybe that's why I got sick 1 week, got better for 3 days, and got sick again...uuuggghhh...], but I'm getting through. My grades are still suffering a bit, but I'm getting A's and B's rather than C's and D's, so I'm proud of myself :3


Random music of the moment:

"You Could be Happy" by Snow Patrol

and "Animal" by Neon Trees

[[I know the video for Snow Patrol isn't the full song, it's just such a cute video I had to share! >.<>


Random End Comments: Just eat a goddamned vegetable.

No comments:

Post a Comment