Since the day when I realized being a novelist isn't a job I can live off of, I've been constantly searching for that career choice that is my "second runner up," that I can do to make money and write as I do it, yet not hate it.
I don't think I'll ever find that job.
I'm one unmotivated individual. I gotta face the facts: if I don't enjoy doing something, 9 times out of 10 I won't see it all the way through, and 4 of those 9 times I won't even do it at all. But with writing it's different. I can get lost in what I want to do. Do I want to be an office worker today? Then I just write about one. Do I want to be a sound tech today? Suddenly I've got a new script in mind, and need to focus on the soundtrack. Not only that but I can even wake up and tell myself I want to be a 10 foot tall raging monster who's mother is Godzilla herself, and technically I can do that. The majority of the time I won't want to be an office worker because seriously...who does? If I wanna do sound tech work I will probably just find a director in need of one and happily put in the hours. And it's not every day ANY person - sane or not - wakes up and wishes they were a Godzilla spawn. By being a writer, however, I at least have the ability to wake up with whatever in mind, and make that happen.
By being a writer, I've opened myself up to enjoying the aspects of many things I find interest in all in one single career choice. There's no second runner up to that. I mean, I guess if I sit and think about it I do love tech work second best to writing [because I'm not just bringing them to life with words, I'm bringing them to life with the senses as well], but if I did tech work the rest of my life I'd forget my love of writing in the hectic hours of hell week after hell week working on various plays. Even though I have no problem putting in hours of dedicated, hard work on a play, I don't think I could do it as more of a hobby. It's too much work for me to do more than two plays a year, and even that is pushing it a bit. And even beyond that, I would just be in the same boat there - low paychecks and instability.
So basically I'm stuck in a creative hole where I can't be completely independent if I want to get by in the world we live in, and that's including a minimum wage day-job as a waitress or a cashier or a sign holder. I have big dreams, and saving penny after penny may get me money to live on, I selfishly won't just accept that little bit. I want to reach my goals of living in a castle in Ireland, traveling all over the Euro-Asian continents, and still having the money to spoil my future kid rotten if I so choose [but trust me, I won't be spoiling that kid too much... I can't spoil it to a point where I grow to hate it, or I'll just die...or something].
My only solution thus far is to spend my life doing what I love, and the rest will either fall into place or wasn't mean to be. I've kicked the "get the fuck over yourself" mentality out completely because I don't want to be unhappy in my life. I want to live it to the fullest, live it as if there is no second chances, live it in a way that at any moment I could drop dead and not regret anything in my last few moments alive.
So I've been taking my writing more seriously lately. So far, I'm at the "Creative Writing Major" mentality [personally I think this one will stick. Even if I get out of this phase, I can see it coming right back like it has various times before. It might not, but I can always hope], and through it I've been thinking like a madman. My mind is constantly racing. I went to bed last night reading a book on my new Kindle Fire called "Write Good or Die" [a compilation of helpful essays from fellow writers who had good advice to share to aspiring writers. I heavily recommend it] and woke up thinking about my website. I spent all day today talking to a friend of mine, James, about a book he's working on as well as my Lunias series and just going back and forth, gaining advice in the process of learning about his story. For the past two days, about 85% of my mentality has revolved around writing. And for weeks before these two days, it's been on my mind so much it's been killing me. If I wasn't constantly running around, I'd have just used my time to write.
Because I'm sick of just thinking about it, I've decided that it's time to actually get cracking. Somehow I need to get myself to write more, even through shitty-ass high school. So basically it's time to make some changes [consider these New Year resolutions to a sense]:
First off, I'm going to set aside time at least once a week for me to just write. I really, really want to reach that goal: Write for at least an hour once a week. I need to get into the habit of writing, even when I'm not in the mood. It's not writing that gets me stuck into a "I'm not writing" phase and prevents me from getting shit done in the first place.
Next, I'm going to get a book done one way or another this year. My plan for this is to follow that very helpful advice given in Write Good or Die [as well as various other resources] and do things like the following while I'm writing:
- I will shut down the internet while I write. The most internet usage I will need when I write my stories will be to find a playlist of music, if I even do that. All internet beyond music is not useful to my writing at all [except in the research and possibly editing/revising stages].
- I will not edit or revise while I'm writing! I need to write first and get that writing done. To make sure I don't go back and edit/revise my work before it's complete, I will start a new document for each day I write and start anew each and every time. Before I complete my writing I will write a short summary of what I wrote the day before so I can know where I left off without finding the desire to edit that work. Going back to old documents is strictly forbidden until the end of the project/goal, and I'm actually at my editing and revising stage.
- I will set goals to get at certain points in my projects by certain days so I'm not completely unmotivated to get my work done. If I reach these goals, I will reward myself with candy. [As an aside goal to eat healthier, I will only eat candy when these goals are met...if I can help it, for my thigh's and stomach's sakes I hope I can help it]
- I will plan an entire book out before I begin work on it. I need to know what I'm writing before I write it, and since planning as I go doesn't get the job done at ALL, a clear, long planning stage is in order.
- I will finish a book this year. It doesn't matter how shitty it turns out, or if I'm even proud of the actual story. If I finish a book, I will be one step closer to being a full-fledged, professional novelist one day. That's the ultimate goal!
Hopefully some of my goals can help you set your own as a writer [or whatever else if it's helpful for that too somehow]. Until next time!
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